What’s Getting Smaller And Thinner Except My Waist

You know what really grinds my beans? My expanding waistline. And greed. Which is defined as an intense desire to accumulate large amounts of something, such as food or money. Both can cause an expanding waistline. Oh boy…where am I going here? Do you understand what I’m saying? Neither do I.

It crept up slowly. At times, I doubted myself. Questioned my observations. Is this really true? Or am I just getting old and cranky? Paranoid? Demented? Mmmmmmm…it all started with the 4 X 6″ index card. I’ve used them forever for notes, grocery lists, to do lists and not to do lists. And then it happened. They became flimsy thin. Lacking in strength. Inadequate. Easily torn. A quality of life issue. Why did they do it? Just how much money are the manufacturers saving by making my life miserable? Google University could not answer that question. But my sanity was validated by Amazon’s “Super Thick” index cards! Someone else saw the problem, had a problem with it and fixed it. Yes!

Greed is causing us to get gypped left, right and center. Look around. Pay attention next time you’re at the Swindle Store. Sneaky shrinking: manufacturers are downsizing their products. They will tell you that it’s a cost element to innovation or rising input costs or a screw the consumer user tax.  Increasing the bottom line while maintaining a stable price is what they’re really up to. Grocery games. They are killing the consumers four ounces at a time. And you thought the Hunger Games were bad. We have become a Shrinkflation Nation: package looks the same, the price is the same but the weight is not the same. Neither is mine. But my count is. Theirs is not. If you are not a scrutinizing shopper, you will get short-sheeted cheated.

Here’s what the hubby has to say about a particular toilet paper that might come from the north. His bum has liked it for forty five years. The changes started early in this century.

  • they inserted a larger tube in the roll
  • then the width of the roll was cut by 1/2″
  • the diameter of the roll was reduced
  • next is the new double roll
  • the double role is the size of the original roll but short-sheeted

Hubby is passionately pissed-off about this. And so is his bum. Bum now calls THEM the ass!

Just a few of the thousands of products on the Screw the Consumer list, STC: worse than a venereal disease):

  • masking tape: (how does one even start to peel it to use it?)
  • ass wipes: (personal cleansing cloth, now it takes a wad of them.)
  • household cleaning cloths: (now unusable because they just ball up into your hand)
  • bacon: (you now pay the same price for 12 ounces that you used to for 16 ounces)
  • toilet paper: (you now have to use half a roll for one swipe…especially in public bathrooms)
  • toilet paper again: one roll less in package
  • coffee: 30 oz. down to 26.8oz (240 cups to 210 cups). Buzz off.
  • toothpaste: same size box, 10% less.
  • sugar: 5 lbs. before, now 4 lbs. How sweet it was.
  • yogert: 8 oz. down to 6 oz. (or less), check out the larger indentation/dimple in the bottom
  • beer: 16 oz. down to 14.9 oz.
  • crackers: 20 fewer crackers
  • cake mix: 18.25oz to 15.25 oz but hey, it still makes two eight inch rounds. Skinny cake.
  • mustard: 20oz to 18oz, who said you “can’t cut the mustard”?
  • bar of soap: 4.5 oz to 4oz or in a 3 pack, the look alike bars weigh in at 3.1oz. Lowering the bar.
  • first aid spray: 113g to 99g. Ouch…that hurts!
  • ice cream: 64oz to 56oz to 48oz. I scream, you scream for more ice cream.
  • chips: 16oz to 12.5oz. An air bag. Sooooo detrimental to snack attacks.
  • hair shampoo: 25oz to 22oz. Three more greasy bad hair days. They don’t put that on the label.
  • liquid laundry detergent: 50oz to 46.5oz. Wear those clothes till they stand up by themselves!

The Righteous Brothers sang about this:

You’ve got that shrinking feelin’
Whoa, that shrinking feelin’
You’ve got that shrinking feelin’
Now it’s gone, gone, gone, wooooooh….

Yes, we should downsize our stuff and our weight, but they shouldn’t. The height and width of the packaging may look the same on the shelf but check for dimples in the bottom, shrunken depth, count reduction and net weight. Conscious consumerism.

My consumer retort: less is not more…except for the waistline measurement.

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