Archive | February 2017

Calling All Car Guys Car Enthusiasts Car Crazies Car Dogs Car Junkies Car Lovers

Hello car guys! Car fanciers. Car fans. Car junkies. Car lovers. Car aficionados. Car buffs. Car fanatics.

Anything but car enthusiasts. That word is just awkward. And so generic. Like the food at Taco Bell. You guys deserve a name that is like the Beatles of music. A word that takes the checkered flag. But hey, I’m just a girl. What do I know? Nothing about cars. Is it two-door or four-door? What color is it? Is the mileage low enough to get out of town without worries? Those are my concerns in the motoring universe. But I love you car connoisseurs. Rolling art professionals (hubby came up with that one). I just spent ten days with you here in Scottsdale/Phoenix at all the car auctions, parties, and events. You are intensely devoted to these rolling works of art. You are ardent lovers of these mistresses. You deserve a better name. So let’s ponder this.

when-you-marry-a-car-loverAutophile: like bibliophile or Francophile. You know…lover of.

Accelerator Appreciator: no explanation needed. Pedal to the metal.

Fancier: a person who breeds animals, plants, etc., especially in order to improve the strain. Don’t car guys sorta do this?

Motor Votary: a person devoted or addicted to some pursuit.

Motor Rooter: a loyal and enthusiastic follower.

Hood Habitue: a habitual visitor to a place.

Spark Plug Swain: a male admirer or lover.

200-8Jack Junkie: not that you have a strong craving to jack up your car…it just sounds good.

Auto Adventurer: you encounter risks and adventures.

Pedal Patron: a person who supports cars with money.

200-4Dashboard Devotee: a zealous follower of the car religion.

Airbag Aficionado: do you talk too much? Do you inflate when you collide with another car enthusiast?

Payload Pundit: what is your carrying capacity for car experts?

Engine  Eccentric: erratic, peculiar behavior, personality and/or beliefs. Are we talking about the engine or the car guy?

200-5Wheel Worshippers: adoring reverence or regard for the car.

Tachnophile: speed lover. What are your RPMs?

Auto Advocate: cars are your case!

Carburetor Connoisseurdo you have Weber carburetors?

NOx Nut: what’s plugged into your exhaust system???

Gearhead: a British term.

200-3Auto Admirer: sometimes this is done secretly, right?

Blinker Tinkerer: for those of you with old cars.

Motor Lunatic: a quote from Norman Dewes, Jaguar test driver.

What name sparks your plug?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Customer Care From Someone Who Really Cares

Something I have to share with you. It’s humorous and heartwarming:

file-feb-08-4-42-36-pm

The punch line: the price of the book was seventy-five cents. Don’t you love it?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Same stuff, different day story told to me by a friend:

She dropped off five pairs of shoes at the new Quality Shoe Repair in town. Always nice to support a new business…or so she thought. Lucille arrived on the designated day for pickup with her claim ticket only to find that THEY didn’t have the matching ticket. “Come back tomorrow,” they said. And she did. To total chaos. All the shoes in the store were in a heap, five feet tall, on the floor. The merchant, shorter than the heap, was tossing shoes from one pile to the next asking her nonstop, “Is this it?”

Vintage cobbler workplace with tools shoes and laces.

Vintage cobbler workplace with tools shoes and laces.

“No,” she said repeatedly.

“Come back tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

The next day she felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day. That time loop again and again. “Is this one of them?”

“No, go to the left, the red one.” The red suede boot was retrieved but not its matching mate.

“Come back tomorrow.”

“Alright but let me take that boot with me. I’ll bring it back.”

Next day, same-o, same-o. She wondered how it could be this bad. How do these people function in other parts of their lives? Her own life of chaos, like a blender on steroids, didn’t seem so bad after all.Was she ever going to get the other nine shoes back? At this point, she didn’t want them repaired. Just back.

 Small repair shoe shop on street in Bangkok Thailand.

Small repair shoe shop on street in Bangkok Thailand.

The next day she was hopeful. Even just one matched set would be joyful. One pair of shoes was not enough but she could get by with two pairs. She was starting to think five pairs were extravagant. If she kept her life simple, maybe this would never happen again. Lucille also wondered if she should work on building up her karma credits. Like being kind to assholes. As she opened the door, she saw red. Red suede that is. Her boot. An exclamation of “Hallelujah!” escaped from her mouth, much to her surprise, as religion was her worst attitude. Maybe it was time to convert. Expressing her attitude of gratitude, Lucille praised the shopkeeper for her success.

“Come back tomorrow. I should have the other four pairs by then. Sorry for the delay but I need a rest. Your feet are killing me.”

Lucille was reeeeeeally seeing red now. Quality Shoe Repair my eye. This is ridiculous. Beyond comprehension. She had told others of her fiasco. They didn’t believe it. Neither did she.

Five visits, five pairs of shoes. She was fashionable again. And happy that she only owns one purse.

 

Tomorrow is another day.

 

America The Crucible

It’s been a tough two weeks. An anthem to sum it up.

Sing this to the tune of America The Beautiful:

 

O crucible of baseless lies

For anger waves of pain

Your mountain of the fallacies

Is so purely insane!

America! America!

Don’t let him piss on thee

And crown the hood with brotherhood

From me to shining thee!

 

Don’t let the Cheeto lie to you

Fact check no matter what

Loved by many, loathed by more

He is not your brother!

America! America!

Ignorance and bigotry

Tweets and lies to privatize

Ban those refugees!

 

 Disregard the constitution

Propaganda Barbie

The law is what he says it is

Crony capitalism!

America! America!

Yuuuuge tax cuts not for thee

A dire future for us all

Resist and let us see!

 

What’s the next verse?

If you want to see a chicken playing America The Beautiful: